Ikhlas and Nobody Syndrome

Ikhlas.
Something that, until my 19 y.o, still unreachable. A phrase I got, "nobody syndrome", might answer why it's that hard to reach something named "ikhlas". It's nice to see people in their success, we'll feel proud of somebody we've known because of their success, but for some people inluding me it could makes me feel "I am still nobody and nothing".
Envy somebody could make your effort harder than before, but if those efforts make you feeling like you're just nobody, can we please on envying someone else's life?

Pain Healing Or Not...(beg your feedback)

Everybody has their own pain healing mechanism. I'm know thinking about it, actually. When someone gets hurt, those pain healing mech will work automatically (mostly). Could be based on their belief, their past experiences, their expectations, anything. But sometimes, people doesn't know how to react about what happen in their life. They just confuse about that, or even ignored those matter. If we let the problem blow away, yaa it might solve it. But, try to look deeper : is it really solved? or is it just one kind of pain healing mech? Back to that matter (I wrote in the very first beginning), what do you think about : If I have a problem, then I let it go away, can we mention it as pain healing mech? Or it's just superficial-runaway attitude? Beg your feedback. thank you.

Hati Mati!!

Ketika manusia tak punya kewengan apa-apa untuk bertindak Manusia akan merenung Manusia akan terdiam Mengapa semua ini terjadi di depanku tanpa bisa kurubah Aku tak mampu mengintervensi Tak mampu merubah keadaan Menyesakkan jiwa rasanya Menyesakkan bila manusia masih punya hati untuk merasa Karna terkadang hati itu ada tapi mati Mati demi hal yang tidak seharusnya menjadi tanggungan hati Hati mati Lalu tunggu saja sampai manusia itu sendiri yang mati Aku mampu merasa Walaupun kadang yang kurasa tidak selalu menyenangkan Tidak selalu mappu membuatku tersenyum Tapi sumpah aku lebih memilih seperti itu Merasa Sekalipun sulit Karna artinya aku masih punya hati!